The Authority Of The Husband

The authority that a husband is given over his wife should not be a contentious issue among believers.  Although, many preachers are now denying such scriptural principles in order to gain popularity among the worldly.  

While preaching about marriage, a local pastor told his congregation that ‘submission’ is a military term.  He explained that nobody would join the army without understanding the requirement to submit to superior officers.  He then completely contradicted himself by telling the members of his congregation that a husband and wife should submit to one another equally.  How does this work?  Does the captain also have to submit to the corporal?  Does the general submit to the private?   

Is it right to compare the order of authority in the body of Christ with the military?  Like the military, a clear order of authority has been established within the church of God.  It is written, “Now I want you to realise that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Cor. 11:3).  Could it be any clearer?  The order of authority is from God to Christ - from Christ to man - from man to woman.  It is important to realise that no ‘pastor’ or ‘priest’ or ‘preacher’ is mentioned in this order of authority. ‘Pastors’ and ‘priests’ who insert themselves into this order of authority (between the man and Christ, or between the man and his wife) cause nothing but strife.

If we want to worship the Lord Jesus Christ in a way that pleases him, then we are required to obey his commands.  It is our act of worship to submit to him.  It should be no surprise then, that this is what Paul writes to the Ephesian church:  “Do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.  Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery.  Instead, be filled with the Spirit.  Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.  Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Eph. 5:17-21)

God has established a clear order of authority.  This passage of scripture (Eph. 5:21 through to Eph. 6:9) is about submitting to those whom God has placed in positions of authority.  Paul introduces the topic by telling the Ephesians, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”. 

He then goes on to set out examples of how that submission should function in our everyday lives.  Firstly, he says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also, wives should submit to their husbands.” (Eph. 5:22-24) 

He then tells us that children should obey their parents: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  ‘Honour your father and mother’” (Eph. 6:1-2)

And then we read, “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. (Eph. 6:5)

The apostle gives us three examples in life where submission to authority is required out of “reverence for Christ”.  The “wives”, “children” and “slaves” are told to submit.  He also sets out the corresponding responsibilities, for those who are in authority - the ‘husband’, the ‘parents’ and the ‘masters’.

In all these cases, Paul is asking those who are under authority to “submit” - to “obey”.  For me personally, this means that there are some instances when I am given authority as a “husband” and a “father”.  There are also instances where I am in submission.  For example, “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. (Eph. 6:5).  In this instance, I am the “slave”.  This applies to all of us who are employed.  I have no problem submitting to my employer when I am at work.  I do the best I can, working with all my heart, because in my heart I am doing it “out of reverence for Christ”.    I also hope that my employer benefits from what I do, but I serve the Lord.

All of our submission should be seen this way; as submission to Christ, because it is him that we truly live for.  As it is written “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established.” (Romans 13:1)  This means that when we obey the authorities, we do so “out of reverence for Christ”.   Likewise, when a woman submits to her husband, it is not in reverence to her husband but in reverence to Christ!

Many will say that a man’s “authority” over his wife does not apply in our ‘day and age’.  However, Scripture makes it clear that time does not change this order of authority.   

The apostle Peter writes to believers about submitting to authority.  He encourages them to live holy lives among the pagans - to live as aliens and strangers in the world.  He then starts to teach about submission, in the same way that Paul teaches the Ephesian church.   

Read the following passage carefully.  Women are not being encouraged to ‘keep up with the times’.  On the contrary, they are being told to look into the past for proper examples.  It says,  “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.  They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.  You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” (1Peter 3:1-6).   Scripture makes it clear that ‘this day and age’ means nothing.  In this passage, women are clearly being taught to follow the example of a woman who lived thousands of years before them.  It does not tell them to give up and follow the example of modern, worldly feminists.  It says, “Do not give way to fear”.   When the Lord Jesus spoke about marriage, he did not quote the philosophers of the time.  The standard was set at the beginning of time, when God created man and woman!

Regardless of whether these instructions were given by Paul or by Peter, they are consistent, because ultimately, it is God’s word, and God’s word is perfect.  It does not adjust itself to suit the times or the traditions of nations.  “As for God, his way is perfect and the word of the Lord is flawless.” (Psalm 18:30)

Paul sent these instructions to the church in Ephesus, through Timothy;  “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission.  I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.  For Adam was formed first, then Eve.  And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.  But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.” (1 Tim. 2:11-15)

There is an order of authority and submission, which is clearly established and consistently preached throughout Scripture.  We are told exactly the same thing over and over: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” (Col. 3:18)

Submission only becomes a problem for those who do not wish to obey Christ.  And many seem to have this problem.

The local pastor read this passage to his congregation; “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also, wives should submit to their husbands.” (Eph. 5:22-24)  He then declared, ‘It can’t mean that’!  ‘Of course it doesn’t’. 

He told his congregation that this passage of scripture was ‘the longest passage of scripture that deals with marriage and family in the Bible’, but then claimed that the only way to make sense of this passage was to fill in the parts that Paul left out!

It must be recognised that this passage of scripture is not about marriage and family!  It is about submission to authority!  As we read above, the purpose of this passage is to tell those who are under authority to “submit”.  Marriage is simply one of the examples of a situation where one person is given authority over another.  The “wife” is listed as the one who is under authority, and the “husband is the head of the wife”.  

To deny the authority of the husband is to deny the purpose of this entire passage!

It is clear, when we read the whole passage, that the local pastor has completely misled his congregation by twisting the meaning of scripture to imply that husbands and wives should submit to one another equally (and he went to great lengths to do so). 

Does this pastor also believe that Christ should submit to the church?  Should the Lord obey our commands?  Is the church the head of Christ?  Does he believe that parents should obey their children, or that masters should obey their slaves?

Did the pastor declare that ‘it can’t mean that’ because he truly believes that Scripture doesn’t mean what it says?  If this is the case – then he should be ignored, because we are told, “If anybody thinks he is a prophet, or spiritually gifted, let him acknowledge that what I am writing to you is the Lord’s command.  If he ignores this, he himself will be ignored.” (1 Cor. 14:37-38)  Or does this Pastor fear the women in his congregation (including his own wife) more than he fears God?  Many Pastors desire popularity and fear resistance.  They want greater numbers in their congregations (or people who are devoted to them, rather than to Christ), so they “give way to fear” and preach whatever people want to hear.

Look at the way this is worded; “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church”.  It clearly says, “as Christ is the head of the church”.  Therefore, we cannot question the authority of the husband, without questioning the authority of Christ himself!   For it says, “wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord”.

Don’t the people who question this authority realise, that this passage places a much greater responsibility on the husband than it does on the wife?  The husband is told that he must be willing to die for his wife.  No such demand is made of the wife.  Submission is the easy part or the equation.

This is what we are told about Adam and Eve. “For Adam was formed first, then Eve.  And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.” (1 Tim. 2:13-14)

It is acknowledged in Scripture that Eve was indeed the first to sin.  However, although Eve is said to be the one who was deceived and became a sinner, Adam is the one who is held accountable.  As it is written, “Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned - To be sure, sin was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not charged against anyone’s account where there is no law.  Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam” (Rom. 5:12-14)....... “For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!” (Rom. 5:17). 

And again we read, “For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man.  For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.” (1 Cor. 15:21-22)  It is Adam who is consistently held to account for the fall of mankind.  Eve was clearly the first to sin but Adam is the one who is held responsible for bringing sin and death into the world, because with authority, comes responsibility.  Clearly this is God’s judgement, and clearly there are differences between a man and a woman. 

God has designed and created men and women differently.  Do we really think that this was an accident?  “Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’ (Romans 9:20)  If we are questioning these things - we must, at the very least, be honest with ourselves about our motivation!  Are we questioning these things because of a desire to serve our Creator, or because of our desire to follow our own ambitions?